The biggest reason I spent so many years afraid to give my life totally to Christ is because I didn't think He could ever forgive me of my sinful life. Other people had convinced that I was so worthless and low down that I would never change and always be a failure. Now, Jesus never told me that, only people. But when I finally did go to Him, He told me He knew my heart, and it was a beautiful heart, in spite of my past.
He was right. As I look back I can see I have always had a good heart, but all I could see were the mistakes I made. I thought all those bad choices made me a bad person. When Jesus forgave me and cleansed my soul, I began to see the good in me. As my relationship with Him has grown, so has my faith and confidence in myself. So much so that I can even say without doubt that my heart is indeed beautiful.
I write this to all who are afraid to come to Christ because they think they are not good enough. Don't wait all of your life like I did. Come to Him now, just as you are, and confess your sins to the One that knows your true self. Cry out to Him. He will hear you and answer.
Jesus loves the sinner, and He will give you a new life. You will receive His Holy Spirit, and a beautiful, forgiven heart.