Until a few years ago, I did what most people do when they are in fear, I ran. I ran fast and hard from life, love, and even chances at happiness. There was a short period in my life that happiness was handed to me, and I was so afraid of the feeling I could not leave fast enough.
When I was four years old, I was brutally assaulted by a caregiver. I ran from my attacker but was overcome. As I look back, I realize it was at that point my dire habit of running away from things started and didn't stop until four years ago when I hit a brick wall. Seizures from an unknown brain tumor stopped me in my tracks.
While I was still in the hospital recuperating from brain surgery, the doctors discovered stage four cancer in my colon. They announced this news to me along with the diagnosis that even with major surgery my time on earth would be very limited.
Where does one run to from death? Suddenly I was still. It was in that stillness that Christ came to me in the middle of the night. I heard a quiet, reassuring voice telling me there was nothing to fear, and I knew right away it was the voice of God.
After the major surgery and during a lonely month's stay in the hospital, I grew even closer to God. Every night I would lie awake and sense His presence and feel His love. I could feel His warmth and began to look forward to those precious night hours when peace enveloped me.
Opening my heart and soul to Christ on those many nights, I begged for His forgiveness. Though I wanted to live, my soul was ready to go home if it was my time. Perfect peace was made with my Maker, and I was reborn.
After spending the next two years in various stages of treatment for cancer, a miracle happened. My cancer was in remission. Hallelujah! By the grace of God, it was not my time.
Four and a half years have passed since my first surgery. In this past year, there have been three flare-ups with small tumors in my scar tissue, but they were quickly taken care of with minor surgery and radiation.
Only God knows what my future will be, but it holds no fear for me. My life is in His hands. My heart is ready to accept whatever His will is for me. Happiness is mine these days, and I would go through the entire event again in order to be the person I am today. A person who lives in peace. A person who knows Jesus.
Writing about my cancer and near death sentence is something I do often to share with the world what a perfect example of God's works and wonders my experience has been. Still mystified that He would save a wretch like me, I write to reach others with my message of faith and hope. Christ healed me; he can heal anyone.
I am a perfect example of a "miracle".